How to Build the “Core” of Your Marriage!!

Recently … my body told me it wasn’t as strong as it used to be … so I joined a gym. The trainer smiled and re-assured me I could get a lot my old self back … and promptly started me on an exercise program to strengthen my “core” … you know those muscles in our backs … stomachs … shoulders and sides that support our heads … arms … legs … fingers … toes. … so when we build our core … we strengthen our entire body …

As I was trying to soak away my aches and pains in a hot bath … it occurred to me that there is a lot of similarity between building our bodies and strengthening our marriages. There are core, or foundational, ingredients that all of the other aspects of our marriages are built upon.

Some of these are:  faith … commitment … unconditional love … safety … trust … and one that we often overlook … personal responsibility.

Because no marriage will ever be stronger than its weakest spouse; we need to be intentionally working to become the best man or woman … God wants us to be!

When our personal responsibility is weak … we blame our spouse for the condition of our marriage … we say :  if he would just do that …or …  if she didn’t do this …  healthy personal responsibility means we stop blaming our spouses and look at our own lives first … Jesus asked the question: “Why do you look at the speck in your spouse’s eye … but don’t notice the log that is in your own eye?”

So, we build stronger marriages by asking ourselves: How am I contributing positively or negatively to making our marriage the best it can be? What are some areas I need to strengthen in my personal life that will make a positive impact on our marriage?

Paul David Tripp declared:  “I am my biggest marital problem!”

So If you want a better marriage … ask God to help you become a better you!

 

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Take Your Spouse on the Marriage Retreat of a Lifetime at one of the nations Top 10 B&B’s (only 7 tickets left!)

Join us at the Twin Pine Manor – February 5-7, 2016

Click for more information as well as reservation details.

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Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Upcoming Intensives
 – Dec. 4-6, 2015 (Sandy Cove) Md
– Jan. 15-17, 2016 (Black Rock Retreat) Lancaster, Pa
– Feb. 26-28, (Sandy Cove) Md

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

5 Incredible Conversation Starters for Any Couple!

It’s been reported that the average couple spends less than 3 minutes a day in “meaningful” conversation.

That’s because most of our couple talk is all about family logistics … who …what … where … when … and how …  It is reporting … not rapport building …  It’s head to head communication … not heart to heart connection.

The Office for National Statistics finds that on average we, as couples, spend between 2 to 2.5 hours a day together and that includes weekends!! Let that sink in … you are only together with your spouse for about 2 hours a day.

And what do we do when we’re all alone with our loved ones? We watch TV (one third of all the time), we eat (30 minutes) and we do “household chores” together (24 minutes).

Here’s a surprise! They found that women cared more than men about spending time together; and the ladies were very clear that this time together had to involve talking to each other. The final revelation:  the less time couples spent talking together, the less frequent their physical intimacy was.

So to help you out on all fronts … here are 5 questions that you can ask each other at the end of every day to get the conversations going and your marriage growing! They’re guaranteed to get you talking more than 3 minutes!

• What was the highlight of your day today … what did you feel good about today … Why?
• What was the “downer of the day” … what did you enjoy least about today … what made you feel badly … Why?
• What do you think the Lord might be doing in your life through these things?
• What can I do to help make the rest of your day better? What do you need from me?
• How can I pray for you now …

Didn’t have time to write them down? Come on out to our website fantheflamedates.com to download these and other helpful tools to build your marriage.

 

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Take Your Spouse on the Marriage Retreat of a Lifetime at one of the nations Top 10 B&B’s (only 9 tickets available!)

Join us at the Twin Pine Manor – February 5-7, 2016

Click for more information as well as reservation details.

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Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

A Reader Shares the Secret Emotional Needs of Men … A Must Read!

It’s always good to hear from listeners … and to those who receive these thoughts via our email devotions … here’s one we got the other day from a men’s ministry leader …

“I read your online article to wives today and it was very good.  You can quote me in saying that wives have no idea how much their husbands need encouragement from them—you were right on! An appreciative note from a wife can go a LONG way!

I know it goes both ways, but if a wife is “tuned-in” enough to get the ball rolling and becomes a cheerleader of her husband that would be awesome!

Many wives think their husbands are strong and tough and don’t need that encouragement, but that is very wrong … that is the “face” that we men have been taught to wear.

Many men are getting a “beat-down” on a daily basis only to have that continue when they get home.

Most of us men are secretly desperate to be loved, honored and appreciated (yep—just like women). And I’m amazed at how many men don’t understand how to ask for, or get attention appropriately … because it feels like the need to be loved by a woman is a weakness. So we seek it inappropriately by grabbing and demanding … or avoiding altogether …because that doesn’t make us feel weak.

It’s scary and hard for us to love a woman because we have to be vulnerable … and most of us don’t do vulnerable real well.

In fact we’ve been conditioned to believe that women need us to be tough and if we speak of our weakness and neediness that our wives will turn away from us.

As a men’s ministry leader … I’ve watched men sob over the lack of connection they feel with their wives and how desperate they are to be desired by their wives. And in most cases their wives have no idea of how much pain they are in … because men either don’t know they’re in pain or they don’t feel safe enough to express it.”

So ladies make it safe for your husbands to talk to you about what they need and want from you … why not ask them today?

 

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Take Your Spouse on the Marriage Retreat of a Lifetime at one of the nations Top 10 B&B’s (only 9 tickets available!)

Join us at the Twin Pine Manor – February 5-7, 2016

Click for more information as well as reservation details.

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Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

Ladies, It’s time to ask ourselves the hard question. Do I let my husband lead?

(Guest writing again is Bruce’s wife – Karen McCracken)

Last week we began discussing spiritual leadership in the home and our desire as wives for our husbands to take the lead.

We first looked at the importance of guarding our heart by having a heart of gratitude. One way you can do that is by journaling all the things you appreciate about him.  Having a hard copy will give you something to refer back to when you’re aren’t feeling so appreciative. Guarding your heart from negativity places you in the position to love, bless, and enjoy your husband for all the things you love about him.

When we think about creating spiritual leadership in our marriages … it may be time to ask ourselves the hard question. Do I let my husband lead?

As a strong woman … I can have a take charge attitude that Bruce has found to be a bit intimidating. In our conversation about this topic he has shared that he has felt unsure as to how to lead me spiritually.

So … you as a strong mom and wife want to pray and ask the Lord for a good time to talk together about your spiritual life … as a couple and family. Be sure to acknowledge that husbands and wives have different ideas about what spiritual connection is …so ask him what he thinks your spiritual time should look like. It’s critical to create a safe environment for him to share.  Affirm him. Be gentle.  Let him express his opinions freely without judgment (verbal or facial expressions).

Hopefully this productive loving conversation will produce some first steps to building spiritual intimacy in your marriage.

Is it easy? No. Really reflect on this and search your heart for insights about your role as follower. Think about what it would look like for you to support his attempts and give him space to lead..

Remember that it’s God’s desire for you to experience spiritual intimacy in marriage and He is the All-powerful one that can bring this to fruition. Our job is to pray for spouse and model Christ-likeness in our gentleness and our willingness to be lead spiritually.

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Take Your Spouse on the Marriage Retreat of a Lifetime at one of the nations Top 10 B&B’s (only 9 tickets available!)

Join us at the Twin Pine Manor – February 5-7, 2016

Click for more information as well as reservation details.

---

Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

How Should I Treat My Husband Who Won’t Lead Us Spiritually?

(Guest writing today is Bruce’s wife – Karen McCracken)

Many wives feel disappointed, angry, resentful, resigned, and confused about what to do with a husband who seems spiritually absent or is unwilling to lead his family toward Christ.

If this is true in your marriage, the answer isn’t to nag or criticize your husband, nor is it to resign yourself to be passive.

Instead the answer lies in allowing GOD to work on your husband for you to control what you can:  YOURSELF. To encourage your husband’s faith you must first shore up your own heart. We need to passionately pursue God through Jesus Christ & recognize that is my most important and basic spiritual connection. We gain truth and insight from His Word … we’re able to complain and cry out to Him when life is hard … rejoice and thank Him when life is good … and when we seek to know and follow Him we are comforted, guided and taught by the Holy Spirit living inside us.

One of the ways we CAN encourage our husband’s spiritual life and leadership is to guard our heart by expressing gratitude. Proverbs 4:23 states “Above all else guard your heart for it’s the wellspring of life.” We are guarding our heart when we actively notice and express gratitude for our blessings and the many gifts God has given us. Look for things you appreciate about your husband – what he’s doing right and then write them down in a gratitude journal and share them with him. Hebrews 3:13 tells us to “encourage one another daily as long as it is called today so that none of you may be hardened by sin and deceitfulness.”

Pastor John Piper suggests that our attitude needs to be … ok, this may never change in my husband. I hope it does, but it may never change; and I’m not going to lock in on this shortcoming as the only thing I think about with him. Instead, I will try to love him, bless him, enjoy him for the things about him that I delight in, and all the while be Praying and Modeling what I hope he will become for me.

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Take Your Spouse on the Marriage Retreat of a Lifetime at one of the nations Top 10 B&B’s 

Join us at the Twin Pine Manor – February 5-7, 2016 (Limited tickets available)

Click for more information as well as reservation details.

---

Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

Are You Guilty of Using these Four “Missile Words” in Arguments?

When you find yourself engaging in a disagreement with your spouse … your instinctive goal is to craft your argument so that it makes make a powerful impact … which typically means that some serious “missile words” will start flying out of your mouth!

A “missile” is defined as an object that is forcibly propelled at a target, carrying a conventional or nuclear explosive.  So the goal of a missile word is to deliver a painful / hurtful message … usually aimed at the heart of your spouse … and not at the issue being discussed.

We’ve identified a series of these “missile words” that explode with great force … causing couples’ conflicts to escalate … and leave a path of emotional pain and carnage.

#1 & #2 – Always and Never

These two favorites … “you always” or “you never” … attack the character of your spouse.  The irony is that as soon as you launch “always” or “never”, your spouse starts searching his or her radar screens for that one time they didn’t or did … just to prove you wrong.  Tragically you’ve stopped trying to solve a problem together … and have become defiant, argumentative and insensitive.  These two words always escalate emotions … and never lead to resolution!

#3 – Seriously?

When we use “seriously” as a question … more often than not, we’re saying, “You can’t possibly mean what you just said because it was so absurd and/or thoughtless that only a moron with half a working brain would say it to me!”  … and everyone knows the proper response is the next word –

#4 – Whatever!

Your spouse asks: Am I right? … your missile response: Whatever!  This has the same effect as nails scratching across a chalkboard.  It invalidates your spouse’s feelings and shows your total disdain for reaching a resolution … and typically sets the stage for an unresolved conflict and hurt feelings.

Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissention, but a patient man calms a quarrel.”

Remember the objective in resolving conflict is reaching a win / win peace agreement … not the total destruction of your spouse through missile words.

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Join us for a Marriage Retreat in Lancaster!
(5 overnight rooms left)

Marriage Retreat and Special Guest Musician – Matt & Kim Goss – October 9 – 11, 2015
(use promo code “marriage50” for a $50 discount!!)

Dr. Bruce and Karen McCracken, founders of House on the Rock Family Ministries will lead you and your spouse through a weekend filled with laughter, romance and re-connection. Bruce and Karen have been married for over 40 years and have been leading couples events for 25 years.  They bring practical advice for couples … filled with grace that has been tempered by their experience together.

Matt and Kim Goss have been married for 19 years. Matt has been on staff as Worship Pastor of LCBC Church in Manheim, PA since 1999.  In that time the church grew from 700 to over 10,000 people! He is a featured worship leader and speaker at Integrity Music Seminars and many other conferences each year.

Kim is also a prolific singer, songwriter and worship leader. Her much anticipated debut CD was released in Feb. 2011.

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Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

How to Talk to Your Spouse about Sex

It’s no surprise … talking about our physical love lives can be daunting!  Realizing that we may sound unsatisfied, selfish and judgmental doesn’t make this challenging conversation any easier.

But having the love life you desire will not happen by itself.  A positive love making experience often requires some extremely personal communication.

You need a safe and honest relationship to talk about what does and doesn’t feel good, or to ask to try something new.  Intimate discussions don’t come easy; so here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. It’s always a good idea to let your spouse know that you would like to talk about sex … before you have the conversation. Knowing that you are going to talk about this part of your marriage gives both of you the chance to plan and prepare for this important discussion.

2. Determine and agree on the best time to talk.  Obviously, this conversation needs to occur at a private time and place where you can enjoy a face to face setting with no interruptions.  Be sure to schedule it when you both will have the time and energy to stay engaged.

3. Start your conversation by affirming your partner’s desire to please you.  Then move onto describing your needs, wants and desires. Use “I” statements and avoid putting blame on your partner.  Use the proper vocabulary … no code words.  Be specific.  Stay positive … remember the goal is to make your love making experience more enjoyable for both of you.

4. Listen carefully.  Be open and honest.  Accept personal responsibility for the things you can improve or change.  Avoid making excuses for yourself and listen with an open mind!

5. Ask questions to get clarification.  “I hear you saying that you would like me to touch you more … where and how would you like me to touch you?”

6. Once you break the ice on this topic you will see that one conversation won’t be enough.  So be sure to schedule a regular date night to keep this conversation alive?

You can alternate your date night topics with conversations about emotional and spiritual intimacy … they all work together!

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Join us for a Marriage Retreat in Lancaster!

Marriage Retreat and Special Guest Musician – Matt & Kim Goss – October 9 – 11, 2015
(use promo code “marriage50” for a $50 discount!!)

Dr. Bruce and Karen McCracken, founders of House on the Rock Family Ministries will lead you and your spouse through a weekend filled with laughter, romance and re-connection. Bruce and Karen have been married for over 40 years and have been leading couples events for 25 years.  They bring practical advice for couples … filled with grace that has been tempered by their experience together.

Matt and Kim Goss have been married for 19 years. Matt has been on staff as Worship Pastor of LCBC Church in Manheim, PA since 1999.  In that time the church grew from 700 to over 10,000 people! He is a featured worship leader and speaker at Integrity Music Seminars and many other conferences each year.

Kim is also a prolific singer, songwriter and worship leader. Her much anticipated debut CD was released in Feb. 2011.

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Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

Take this Quiz to See if Your Marriage Needs a Tune-Up

It’s the end of summer, and if you’re like me, you’re receiving ads in the mail urging us to get our heating systems checked and tuned up before the cold of Winter sets in. But, it’s still hot outside; and the thought of being warmer is the last thing on our minds. But years of experience have taught me the wisdom of preventive maintenance in saving money and avoiding breakdowns.

It’s the end of summer and our marriages will also benefit from regular tune ups and preventive maintenance. Is your relationship ready to handle the wear and tear of your family’s stressful schedule? Are you spending enough time together to fan the flame of your marriage? Now is a good time to plan for a marriage get away, before the busyness of Fall kicks in.

Take a few minutes to honestly answer these True / False questions … if the statement is more true than false answer it “T” … if not it is false. These questions should provide you with an opportunity to evaluate some key areas of your marital relationship … see if you both can agree on your answers. Talk about how you can improve the areas that were answered  “False”

T / F    We go out together alone as a couple at least twice a month?

T / F    We talk regularly about things that affect us as a couple …

not just children’s issues?

T / F    We are having devotions together regularly … reading the Bible

and praying together?

T / F    We are “more satisfied than not” with our sexual relationship?

T / F    We both have full knowledge of our financial condition and are in

agreement with how we fare?

T / F    We share family, parenting, and housekeeping responsibilities?

T / F    We would rather be home together than at work or play apart?

T / F    We verbally build one another up regularly?

T / F    We say the words “I love you” to each other daily?

T / F    We have made personal commitments to stay together …

“divorce is not an option!”

If you got more “falses” than you’re comfortable with … we have a Fan the Flame Marriage retreat planned in October … come and join us!

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Join us for a Marriage Retreat in Lancaster!

Lancaster Host Resort, PA – Marriage Retreat and Special Guest Musician – Matt & Kim Goss – October 9 – 11, 2015
(use promo code “marriage50” for a $50 discount!!)

Dr. Bruce and Karen McCracken, founders of House on the Rock Family Ministries will lead you and your spouse through a weekend filled with laughter, romance and re-connection.

Bruce and Karen have been married for over 40 years and have been leading couples events for 25 years.  They bring practical advice for couples … filled with grace that has been tempered by their experience together.

Matt and Kim Goss have been married for 19 years. Matt has been on staff as Worship Pastor of LCBC Church in Manheim, PA since 1999.  In that time the church grew from 700 to over 10,000 people! He is a featured worship leader and speaker at Integrity Music Seminars and many other conferences each year.

Kim is also a prolific singer, songwriter and worship leader. Her much anticipated debut CD was released in Feb. 2011.

---

Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

6 Reasons Couples Think Their Marriage is Doomed …

While doing our Fan the Flame Marriage Intensives for Christian couples who want to save their marriages … we’ve heard a lot of interesting reasons why they thought about ending their relationships.  Here’s a few …

1. “We’ve drifted apart.”This classic cop out says “we’ve lost those loving feelings;” and we’re too lazy to work to bring them back … it’s easier to find a new lover than it is to rekindle our marriage” Wrong!  Not only is this unbiblical … but research reveals that it is easier to re-kindle an existing marriage than it is to create a new one.
2. “We fight all the time.” Conflict is a good thing … it shows that there is an emotional connection! We rarely fight with people we don’t have a relationship with … we want them to see things our way. Learning how to resolve conflicts actually builds intimacy … even if it means we’ve learned something new that upsets our spouse!
3. “We flunked counseling!” Counselors are not magicians!  Be patient.  Realize that the issues in your marriage have been festering for years and won’t be fixed in three or four sessions.
4. “My parents never approved!” I’m amazed when parents want to break up their kid’s marriages! Genesis 2:24 says a man should “leave his father and his mother, and cleave to his wife.”  Couples who can effectively distance themselves from parental control will reap the rewards of a stronger marriage.
5. “We were young and foolish!” Young couples in love can make unwise decisions! So, you parents reading this … urge your kids to get pre-marital counseling. Be sure they are confronted with the fact that marriage is a lifelong adult commitment.
6. “God told me to marry someone else.” This is absurd … but I have heard it from a former pastor. Listen, God will never tell you to do something that clearly contradicts the Bible!

If you’re having marital problems, and think divorce is your only option, stop and take a deep breath.  Ask God to give you His counsel—and seek help from Christian friends.

Our Heavenly Father’s love and mercy may surprise you.

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Join us for a Marriage Retreat in Lancaster!

Lancaster Host Resort, PA – Marriage Retreat and Special Guest Musician – Matt & Kim Goss – October 9 – 11, 2015
(use promo code “marriage50” for a $50 discount!!)

Dr. Bruce and Karen McCracken, founders of House on the Rock Family Ministries will lead you and your spouse through a weekend filled with laughter, romance and re-connection.

Bruce and Karen have been married for over 40 years and have been leading couples events for 25 years.  They bring practical advice for couples … filled with grace that has been tempered by their experience together.

Matt and Kim Goss have been married for 19 years. Matt has been on staff as Worship Pastor of LCBC Church in Manheim, PA since 1999.  In that time the church grew from 700 to over 10,000 people! He is a featured worship leader and speaker at Integrity Music Seminars and many other conferences each year.

Kim is also a prolific singer, songwriter and worship leader. Her much anticipated debut CD was released in Feb. 2011.

---

Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!

5 Tips for Meaningful Communication with Your Spouse!

Our daily exposure to superficial noise via the internet, social media, TV, and radio makes it easy for us to become immune to significant communication. We’ve become a sound bite culture; and we can’t build meaningful relationships with sound bites!

Jesus made a habit of getting away from the “noise” in His everyday life to have some meaningful communication with His Heavenly Father.  He was intentional about dedicating blocks of uninterrupted time to focus on His most important relationship.

So as couples, we need to work hard at nurturing meaningful conversations that will build the most important earthly relationships we have with our spouses.

Here are 5 tips on how to make the best use of the times we do find to meaningfully connect:

1. Set a regular time and place.  Look at your calendars and schedule at least one block of time per week for some uninterrupted conversation.

2. Get ready. What are the two most important things we need to talk about?  Is it a major decision deadline that’s approaching?  Is it a problem between the two of you or with the kids?  Develop your agenda so you’re ready to discuss the important things first.

3. Stay on topic. Once a good conversation gets rolling it’s tempting to “dump the whole load” of what you’ve wanted to discuss over the last six months. Unfortunately, that usually leads to information overload, confusion; and the frustrated feeling of “What are we talking about?”

4. Be sensitive to the time. When your conversation gets too deep or goes too long, intellectual and emotional fatigue comes into play. Even if the conversation is going great stop and ask: “Do you want to keep talking about this?” Your goal is for the conversation to end positively and productively!

5. Close with:  “Thank you … I appreciate you listening to me.”  The conversation will eventually weaken. One of you may withdrawal or explode.  These symptoms indicate that it’s time to stop before all your good conversation morphs into a bad conflict. End your time by reviewing any decisions that were made.  Be sure to close with:  Thanks for listening … I’m glad we got to talk about this.”

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Join us for a Marriage Retreat in Lancaster!

Lancaster Host Resort, PA – Marriage Retreat and Special Guest Musician – Matt & Kim Goss – October 9 – 11, 2015
(use promo code “marriage50” for a $50 discount!!)

Dr. Bruce and Karen McCracken, founders of House on the Rock Family Ministries will lead you and your spouse through a weekend filled with laughter, romance and re-connection.

Bruce and Karen have been married for over 40 years and have been leading couples events for 25 years.  They bring practical advice for couples … filled with grace that has been tempered by their experience together.

Matt and Kim Goss have been married for 19 years. Matt has been on staff as Worship Pastor of LCBC Church in Manheim, PA since 1999.  In that time the church grew from 700 to over 10,000 people! He is a featured worship leader and speaker at Integrity Music Seminars and many other conferences each year.

Kim is also a prolific singer, songwriter and worship leader. Her much anticipated debut CD was released in Feb. 2011.

---

Additional Resources to Grow Your Marriage

What is a “Fan the Flame Marriage Intensive”?

Our marriage intensives are more than a couple’s weekend retreat. They are intimate, personalized coaching sessions designed to help you identify and address your specific needs. Intensives are more powerful than one hour counseling sessions because they keep you both focused on your issues for an extended period of time. You will receive over 15 hours of personalized counseling, coaching and marriage building exercises that will fan the flame of your marriage back to life.

Click here for more information or to schedule a Marriage Intensive now!