In my years of working with couples and talking about their marriages, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone declare they’re leaving their spouse because, “I deserve to be happy in my marriage! God wants me to be happy doesn’t He?”
I understand the root of their reasoning. We serve a good God who wants to shower good things on us. Why wouldn’t He want us to be happy… to have a good marriage instead of a miserable one? God wants us to experience the “abundant life!” Add to that the power of our belief in the American dream of healthy, wealthy and happy and we have some faulty thinking.
Unfortunately, this is one of the greatest lies the devil whispers to couples today!
When you feel unhappy in your marriage, what do you? You start making a list of all the things your spouse is doing, or has done, that upset you. You begin to think of all the other people that seem happier than you. You begin to punish your spouse by fighting with them, or emotionally withdrawing from them. You start to keep an internal “tally” of all the reasons you’re not being met half-way by your spouse?
Are those actions of the Holy Spirit? How can we say God wants me to be happy when we are disobeying Him and His Word?
Isaiah the prophet knew of this problem thousands of years ago when he shared “All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.” (Isaiah 53:6)
“Deserving happiness” is just another form of selfishness and can be the most dangerous threat to your marriage.
God commands us to die to self … to think of others more highly then ourselves … to transform our minds daily.
When you start serving your spouse, and seeing how you can meet his or her emotional, spiritual and physical needs … when you start to make him or her happy … you’ll be amazed how God will transform your mind and your marriage!