During this time of year I have the opportunity to help out with my son Greg’s youth basketball team. Greg always enjoys it when I help with practice, and I get a kick out of working with the boys as well, so it’s a fun time for both of us. Like most youth sports teams, Greg’s basketball team has a couple boys that are really good at basketball, a couple boys who really struggle, and everyone else is in the middle talent-wise. What strikes me as different about this particular team, however, is the attitude of the most talented player.
Usually boys who are really good at a sport have little time for others who don’t play as well. They don’t want to run drills with the less-talented, they tend to get frustrated quickly when the less-talented make mistakes, they make sarcastic (or worse) remarks about the abilities of their teammates, and they expect to get the most playing time. On Greg’s team the best player has none of those qualities. He runs drills with whatever player the coach assigns him, and encourages that teammate to do his best. He never makes snide remarks. He passes the ball in games, even though he must certainly know that he has a much better chance to score then many of his teammates do.
Not surprisingly, the other players have followed this boy’s lead. It is far and away the nicest group of boys Greg has ever played with. Perhaps it is just me, but it feels like youth sports today are becoming more and more about “winning” than ever before. Greg’s team may not win the league championship this season, but they are having fun playing together. A lot of credit for that goes to the coach, for sure, but I’m amazed at what a difference it makes when the best player on the team is also the most selfless.
Here is my point with all of this – this boy’s parents have obviously been teaching and modeling proper attitudes to him. It has challenged me in my role as a father to reevaluate how I am doing in this area. Specifically, I’ve been thinking through these questions:
Am I intentionally teaching/modeling to my kids how to be a good friend/teammate?
Am I cultivating in them an others-centered outlook on life?
Am I working with them on their attitudes when they happen to be one of the best in the group at something?
Am I showing them where the Bible teaches about these character traits?
If you are reading this and feeling like you might want to have a talk with your kids about this, here are a few verses to help get the conversation started.
Colossians 4:6 – “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
1 Timothy 4:12 – “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”
Matthew 7:12 – “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
Colossians 3:12 – “therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
With the competitive, “winning-isn’t- everything-it’s-the-only-thing” culture that we find ourselves living in, it’s so important that we help our kids develop the proper attitudes and perspectives about their activities, be it sports, music, art, scouts, or whatever interests them. Being the “best” at something is a big ego boost when we are young, that is for sure, but as parents we need to help ground our child’s ego in God’s word.
