Like many men, I take great pride in having a well-kept lawn. Although it is far from picture-perfect, I spend a lot of time mowing and trimming and making sure the flower beds have nice edges to them. Our neighbors on both sides of our property also take good care of their lawns, so I try to keep up with them as well. As much as I tried, however, there was a time this the year when the combination of bad weather and a busy speaking schedule prevented me from getting to the lawn for a while, and it had gotten quite “shaggy” looking. How bad our lawn looked was really starting to get on my nerves.
Finally, a free evening appeared on the calendar and I could get the outside work done. At the last minute, however, another commitment arose for that night. I was frustrated (and I mean really frustrated), because rain was again in the forecast and it looked like my lawn would only continue to grow out of control. Resigned to my fate, I came home that night prepared to be repulsed by the sight of my unkempt grass.
Imagine my surprise, then, when I drove up to a freshly manicured lawn! Mary had realized how much the lawn was bothering me and mowed it earlier in the day. As I looked at our lawn a lot of feelings hit me at once. I felt surprised, I felt joy, but most of all, I felt loved.
Without a doubt, Helping is one of the best ways that we can demonstrate our love to our spouse. Genesis 2:18 says “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” One of the main roles that God wants us to fulfill for our spouse is that of a “help-mate.” God never designed marriage to mean that one spouse does all the work. He expects us to help each other out. Of course, the problem with fulfilling that expectation it is a lot more fun to focus on being “mates” then it is on being helpers!
The great thing about this love language is that we are never lacking opportunities to speak it! Whether it is doing household chores together (and getting rid of any preconceived notions of what is “the woman’s work” and what is “the man’s work”), taking care of the kids’ needs so our spouse gets a break, or simply doing a job without being asked, being help-mates to each other has a bounty of benefits. It strengthens the marriage relationship, it allows us to spend time together, it helps keep the day to day “work” of life manageable for everyone, and it can even help in the more intimate areas of our marriage!
How have you acted as a “help-mate” to your spouse this week?
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