Apology Accepted?

One of the most important life skills that we can teach our children is how to sincerely apologize and ask for forgiveness.  How many times have you as a parent instructed your child to “say you’re sorry” only to have them mumble a half-hearted apology and sulk away?  While the best way to train your child “in the way they should go” regarding apologizing remains modeling the proper attitude and actions yourself, occasionally something happens in the news that can be used as a great teaching tool.

NBC recently caused a minor controversy during its coverage of the U.S. Open golf tournament.  Prior to its telecast of the final round of the tournament it ran a taped segment which featured a montage of American flags, military personnel, great moments in golfing, and children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.   It was a rather awkward and contrived moment of TV (when I think of “loyalty to America” golf doesn’t exactly spring to mind), as the network used the fact that tournament was held near Washington D.C. as a reason to tug on its viewers sense of patriotism.

The whole segment was utterly forgettable, and would have stayed that way if not for the fact that NBC chose to omit the phrase “Under God” twice during the montage.   Predictably, many people called their local affiliate or took to Twitter and Facebook to decry the omission, some calling for a boycott.  NBC quickly had one of its golf announcers read an apology on air.

To be fair, the phrase “Under God” was not originally part of the pledge, and there are many folks who think that it should be taken out (Senator Harry Reid famously omitted it during a speech on the Senate floor recently).  But leaving aside the debate of whether or not God should be present in the Pledge of Allegiance or why NBC thought the intro was appropriate for a golf tournament, I’d like to take a look at the on-air apology, because to me it is a classic example of how NOT to apologize for something that you have done wrong.

Here is the apology as read by NBC’s Dan Hicks:

We began our coverage of this final round just about three hours ago and when we did it was our intent to begin the coverage of this U.S. Open Championship with a feature that captured the patriotism of our national championship being held in our nation’s capital for the third time. Regrettably, a portion of the Pledge of Allegiance that was in that feature was edited out. It was not done to upset anyone and we’d like to apologize to those of you who were offended by it.”

Where did NBC go wrong?

1.  We should confess specific sins.  To only acknowledge that “a portion” of the Pledge was left out is like us telling our spouse “I’m sorry for the things I’ve done.”  That’s great, but what exactly are we sorry for?  We should ask for forgiveness for the specific sin that we’ve committed so that we can truly be forgiven for those sin.   Vagueness has no place in an apology.  When our children say “sorry” to us or their siblings or whomever, they need to say what they are sorry for.  That goes for us adults too!
2. We shouldn’t have others to apologize for us.  I seriously doubt that Dan Hicks made the decision to cut out “Under God”, yet he was the one who had to offer the apology.  It’s similar to when we ask someone to “tell them I’m sorry”.  If we’re responsible for the offense, then we’re responsible to apologize and ask for forgiveness.
3. We should be sorry the offense ever happened.  NBC decided to go with the old “if you were offended, then I apologize” line.  This is very popular among public figures that have to issue an apology.  NBC’s apology explains that “it was not done to upset anyone”.  Certainly whoever green lighted the segment knew that it would upset some people.  The whole thing seems disingenuous.   When we say to someone “I’m sorry you got upset”, or “I’m sorry I offended you” we are really saying “I don’t regret what I did, but since it upset you I feel bad about it.  Chances are, though, I would do it again.”  True repentance involves vowing not to repeat the sin again and trying to make amends for it.

NBC acted as expected.  It has become common for the media to follow the “it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission” policy.  NBC’s apology was similar to the apologies of other public figures.  Those “I’m sorry you’re offended” apologies have become the standard in our culture.  We Christians, however, need to live up to a much higher standard.  Our spouses, our children and really all of those around us deserve sincere apologies from us when we fail them.